CBN BRASIL

Tuesday, August 30, 2016

Yes, I am in debt. But I won't allow that to make me unhappy
  by Melanie Buer


Debt: $49,000

Source: Credit cards, student loans (deferred until 2017), auto loan, medical expenses

Estimated years until debt-free: 10 years

Every morning, I sit down with a cup of coffee at my roommate’s dining room table to check my email. Inevitably, as I’m reading through the junk mail, I’ll look up at the stack of bills laying on my desk in my room. Many of them have been sitting unopened for months, gathering dust and taunting me from their permanent place among the clutter.

Every once in awhile, the pile grows with new overdraft notices and payment requests. I’ll pick through the stack every few days or so, double-checking (maxed out) credit card balances and feeling unsurprised as yet another medical bill has been moved to collections. My phone rings and I screen the call – it’s a collector for my two-month-late car payment. For as long as I can remember, I’ve been in debt.

There are many reasons for my financial situation. I applied for credit cards I didn’t need, took out student loans instead of looking for more scholarships and bought a car when it just wasn’t the right time. It was only a matter of time before it all caught up with me.

There was a time in my life when all I felt was the increasing pressure of the mountainous bills stacked up against me, and I woke up every day unhappy and fearful of my future. It was no way to live my life. Something needed to change. I started with my attitude about my finances, and soon moved toward every aspect of my life. I resolved to wake up every morning happy, and focus on the progress I was making on bringing down my balances.
I decided to have confidence in myself that in time, I would be able to get out of this hole. That helped maintain my sanity while dealing with the incredible stress that comes with living in debt. Many mornings it means just sitting with a cup of coffee and telling myself that the balances are getting lower, and that as long as I keep working, things are okay. It seems so simple, but it actually worked. I made sure to remind myself that I wasn’t complete trash (even though my credit might be) as a result of my foolish financial decisions. The more I did that, the more I could look myself in the mirror each morning and actually feel good about what I had in my life
The last time I pulled together my finances, I made a few key decisions in reducing the amount of money I was spending per month. One of those decisions was to focus more on cooking at home instead of eating out. As a result, I’ve discovered that spending time in the kitchen is a wonderfully meditative practice.
Cooking is especially poignant in times when I have to decide between buying groceries or making more than the minimum payment on some of my bills. For the longest time, I couldn’t even make a payment if I wanted to eat more than once a day. As I’ve pared down my expenses and begun a regular payment schedule again, the act of cooking myself a meal reminds me of the importance of taking care of myself. I’ve discovered I’m actually a pretty decent cook. I just never gave myself the chance to discover that side of me, all for the sake of convenience.

Probably the best way that I’ve managed to stay happy through the insanity of major debt has been to spend time around the truly awesome people in my life. There’s nothing more soothing after a stressful day than a night of commiseration and laughter with my closest friends – many of whom are in the same boat.

It seems to be an awful trend that many people my age are up to their ears in what seems to be insurmountable debt. Many of my friends made the same mistakes I did. Some of them have lost jobs or made tricky financial gambles that cost them their savings. Regardless of the circumstances surrounding their bills, it’s nice to know that I’m not alone.
These days, we spend Saturday nights sitting in a friend’s garage, soaking up the last of the summer and enjoying each other’s company. It doesn’t take long before the stresses melt away and we’re left with the pure joy of human interaction. The support I have from my friends takes an enormous weight off my shoulders. I wouldn’t find the balance I need without it.
I don’t want my dreams of being debt-free to remain something just out of reach. I know that it’s possible to get out of this vicious cycle. But I’ll never get there if I don’t retain some sanity while working through it. I’m constantly reminded that my finances do not define who I am as a person, and for that I am grateful.





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