My immediate family and my close friends know that I'm gay, but I've never really talked about it with my more casual friends or coworkers. I don't want to make some big announcement, and I'm wondering why I would have to come out to anyone at all. As a male, can I just change the "interested in" part of my Facebook profile and let that be the end of it?
It seems to me that you've already done the heavy lifting, so to speak, in talking with relatives and friends about your sexual orientation. I'm very glad that you didn't use Facebook's "one-click self-outing" to tell your news to those in your inner circle. Yes, it's easy, but those folks deserve to have that kind of information delivered personally. You deserve — and with any luck, you received — their best wishes and congratulations for being open and honest with them.
But how to tell the rest of the world? First, let me give you some reasons to be cautious. Understand that once you're out on social media, you're out forever, and everywhere. Be sure of yourself and your news before you disclose it. Also, think about unintended consequences, like a current boss (or even a future one) who isn't necessarily gay-friendly. Unfortunately, it's perfectly legal to fire gay men and women in 29 states simply because they announced they were gay. So before you change your "interested in" status to "men," review your friend list to remind yourself of who will see it and check your privacy settings to be sure only close friends can see your personal information.
After that, go ahead and change your status if you'd like. No big announcement is necessary — but still be prepared to be peppered with more questions (from "How long have you known?" to "Do you have a boyfriend?") On the other hand, friends may not even notice the update, leaving you in the closet despite your best efforts. Or you can do what many have done: Make your own YouTube comingout video and post that on your page. In fact, October is National Coming Out Month, so there's no better time to do so — if you're ready and will be safe.
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