The power of the timid: yes, they can be good leaders

ChIf behavior manuals previously preached how to be more formal, educated and ethical, 20th century self-help books taught how to be more sociable. The first bestseller of this new era came from the USA: in 1913, the shy former Dale Carnegie launched How to Speak in Public and Influence People in the Business World , which taught how to use lip service to make a professional success. But Carnegie got it right in 1936, when he extended the concept of sympathy to personal life. How to Make Friends and Influence People , a practical extraversion guide, has sold and will still sell millions worldwide - it is in the 52nd Brazilian edition. It is Warren Buffett's bedside book, one of the richest men in the world and a notorious introvert.

Carnegie was not the only spokesperson for extroversion. Magazines, newspapers and dozens of other authors taught lessons on how to learn to speak (and on what subjects). Historian Warren Susman compared the most outstanding qualities in 19th and 20th century textbooks. "Citizenship", "duty", "good deeds", "good manners" and "honor", highlights from the 1800s, practically disappeared from 1900 onwards . They gave rise to adjectives such as "magnetic", "fascinating", "attractive", "dominant", "energetic". The guideline changed from "be a good person" to "be an incredibly nice person".

On TV, celebrities endorsed the cult of extroversion. Advertising sold the same concepts. Having an introspective personality became a defect, something strange and failed people. But changing the key from introversion to extroversion was not easy. Not everyone was able to act in the role of uninhibited, talkative. For a weight factor: genetics.

How the cheeks blush

It's the first day of your new job and you find your new boss. The amygdala, the area of ​​the brain responsible for automatic, instinctive responses, turns on the warning signal. It releases adrenaline in the blood, speeds up the heartbeat, dilates the blood vessels (even in the face, which can make the cheeks red), makes breathing difficult and turns the stored fuel (sugar and fats) into energy. This happens in a few seconds, after which the matter reaches the neocortex, responsible for forming rational decisions. He assesses the situation. There is no danger: it's just your new boss. You smile, extend your hand and greet her. The neocortex won the duel with the amygdala, dispelling the chances of a sudden attack of shyness.

In introverts, the tonsils seem more excitable - that's why they are sensitive to new things. And that, in some way, makes them more withdrawn. Who discovered this relationship was psychologist Jerome Kagan, from Harvard University. In a long survey, published more than 30 years ago, he followed newborns to infancy. In the first stage, it exposed 500 babies to unknown stimuli, such as hearing different voices and seeing mobiles in motion. Some 20% cried very hard, another 40% didn't even care, and 40% were in the middle. At two, four, seven and 11 years old, the children took part in new tests to see, again, how they reacted to the news. In addition to observing the behaviors, the researchers measured heart rate, pressure and temperature (all controlled by the amygdala). The most crying babies ended up becoming the most reserved children in that class. They were also the ones that showed more changes in the tasks coordinated by the amygdala. His neocortex took longer to win the argument and calm the organism.

A more recent study, from the University of Iowa, showed that the brains of introverts and extroverts relax differently. In introverts, the process is commanded by acetylcholine, a neurotransmitter responsible for memories and plan making. Extroverts, on the other hand, need a high dose of dopamine, a neurotransmitter linked to feelings of pleasure and reward.arlie Brown just wanted love. The love of the red-haired girl.

On Valentine's Day, he wrote her a card. He rehearsed the moment of delivery, the tone of voice, the gestures. But the card never left your pocket. He never had the courage to declare himself. In fact, he didn't even ask her name. Charlie Brown is the type of guy who hides behind shyness.

At this, he almost declined an invitation to travel to France (it would be a lot of news per square meter). As that song by the Smiths says: "shyness is cool, but it can stop you from doing everything you would like in life".

It might even be. But she is quite common - perhaps more popular than the embarrassed owner of Snoopy. “Many people are shy, but most don't know. And the shy ones think that only they are shy, they are alone in the world ”, says American Bernardo Carducci, author of several books on the subject. Amazingly, in our talkative culture, 50% say they are shy.

Within their social circle, one in three friends is an introvert (technically, those who have social skills, but need solitude to recharge their batteries). It's a lot of people. Only that silent majority still wears extroversion masks, consciously or not. The problem is that being reserved for a long time was a problem. Only the expansives became bosses, icons, models to be pursued. Luckily, the world moved. The qualities of the quiet (concentration, productivity and, why not, common sense) were once again valued. And they serve as a lesson even for popular extroverts. That's what we're going to see here.

The empire of chatters

A hundred years ago, the world had several decibels less. Radio and television were not yet part of the families' dream of consumption. The majority of the population still lived in the countryside. In a rural neighborhood of ten families, everyone was familiar - even the shy and introverted.

Until cities swelled and the neighbors went from 30 to 300. Seu Zé, owner of the coffee farm, friend of the family, who married his mother's second cousin, was no longer the boss. Traders also sold not only to old acquaintances in the region, as before, but to an unknown mass. “Citizens became employees, facing the question of how to make a good impression on people with whom they had no ties,” explains author Susan Cain in the book O Poder dos Quietos .

And the extroverts ended up getting along. They had the gift of communication: they spoke more, with security and sympathy. They sold better. They won hearts, minds, vacancies, customers and turned extraversion into a cult: everyone needed to be as bright and radiant as they were. Simply because it worked more.

These biological predispositions help to understand differences in behavior. An introvert's amygdala fries in an environment full of stimuli. For the quiet, a party can be extremely tiring - their relaxation has to do with internal excitement. In the case of extroverts, sitting alone to read a book is tiring, it does not bring any relaxation. Not very sensitive, your amygdala needs more to get excited - just a hundred shades of gray to generate enough dopamine.

Genetics, of course, does not determine anyone's actions. It is as if it were the structure of the house, and the covering, placed by you, was the personality. Not all the scandalous babies in Kagan's experiment remained reserved in adulthood. Carl Schwartz, another Harvard psychologist, called on some of these young adults for new tests. The tonsils of ex-whiners remained more sensitive, even among those who became more gregarious. That is, their genetics did not change, but they learned to control their reactions. It is as if, when hearing the complaints of the amygdala in front of a stranger, the person says: “Calm down, we have been through this before. Extend your arm, say hello to this guy and everything will be fine ”. It is possible, but it tires.

Anyway, the advantages

Discoveries about the influence of genetics on behavior are not mere curiosity. It is science stating that shyness is not a disease, just a different way of functioning. The internet also gave a boost: talking with your fingers, in a virtual world, without the obligation of immediate response, made the reserved ones more comfortable. And people realized one thing: being an introvert has its advantages.

“People are more open to the idea that there is strength in the most reflective people,” says Beth Buelow, author of the blog The Introverted Entrepreneur (in Portuguese, O Empreendedor Introvertido). Strength justified by such biochemical differences. Because they feel less need to expose themselves to new stimuli, introverts can focus better, devote more focus to solving a problem.

In an experiment in which psychologist Richard Howard distributed printed mazes to a group of 50 people, introverts fared better. Not out of intelligence, but patience: they insist on challenges more. They take longer to respond, but as their brain works more with associations and memories, they tend to find answers that would not cross the mind of an inattentive extrovert. This extreme concentration, even, makes introverts hate to be interrupted. And as much as they strive to work in groups, they do better in individual tasks.

Shy people, unlike “fearless”, do not usually exchange reason for emotion. “Reward sensitivity is not just an interesting feature of extroversion; she is what makes an extrovert an extrovert, ”writes Cain.

This boldness can pay off, like turning the neighborhood's grocery store into a supermarket chain. But this attraction to risk can turn the key to wisdom. “I've seen negotiations in which leaders close deals or buy companies at absurd prices, just to feel the pleasure of victory. Then they wonder why they did it ”, writes author Bernardo Carducci. This happens when the amygdala wins the duel with the neocortex. In addition to giving voice to fear, it can insist that you give vent to other instincts, such as desire and pleasure. This is also why extroverts hit the car more and jump over the fence more. At least from these evils, introverts suffer less.

On the other hand, a less bold and quiet profile does not fit that typical stereotype of a boss - the guy who is "magnetic", "dominant", "energetic" ... But that's okay. Putting introverts in charge has other advantages. A study by Harvard researchers found that proactive employees led by extroverts refrain from giving opinions. With introverts, the opposite is true: they are not afraid of conflicts with the boss and feel free to throb. And when they do, profits increase.

Introverts have yet another asset in personal relationships. With this habit of spending more time in silence, watching more than acting, they became good listeners. (An extrovert has his attention diverted more easily, gets lost in conversation and does not always really understand what the problem is.) In addition, the heightened sensitivity makes them keen observers, the type who studies their facial expression, notice the tone of your voice and notices before a loudmouth when something is not going well.

Bang-Bang to Yin-Yang

But slowly with the amygdala. Just as the supremacy of extraversion in the past was wrong, it is not fitting to declare this the Age of Introverts. They are opposite profiles that do not cancel each other out, complement each other. What's more, one has a lot to learn from the other. “It is no use for a creative and focused introvert to hide in the shell and not talk to anyone about his work. You need to make a minimum effort to interact a little, ”explains Eliete Bernal Arellano, professor of organizational psychology at Mackenzie University. This is what extroverts do without any effort. In return, they can adopt some good behaviors from introverts: how to stay focused without having to go out in anguish for coffee every 20 minutes. Together, the two can avoid the excessive comfort of the quiet and the excessive risk of the daring.

In relationships, it is necessary to understand that introverts are not quiet because they get upset or face some problem. Sometimes they are just tired. But that they learn from the extroverts: it is necessary to strive to cultivate relationships, either to talk to the boyfriend's family or to present a project at work. Even if it forces you to spend the weekend at home refueling.

The world would not be very pleasant if everyone lived in search of pleasure at all costs, if everyone spoke nonstop and barely had time to listen to each other. Although the example is dangerously real, its opposite would also be a pain in the ass: an unbearable slump if everyone were cloistered and nobody went around the corner to make small talk. Luckily, we have all the variations. Together, introverts and extroverts are more fun.